How to Summon Creativity

You ever have one of those days that are so crappy, that you don't even feel putting your shoes on, let alone doing something that requires actual creativity, such as writing?

Of course, we alI have. I'm having one today. I'm not going to admit what time I rolled out of bed this morning, because there are potential clients out there reading this and I don't want to give off the impression that I'm a slacker (for that, just check my Instagram feed). 

But here I am anyway, writing. 

If you're a habitual procrastinator like me, have no fear. I have a secret formula that has worked since the dawn of time. An ancient process that gave us the wheel. The pyramids. Donald Trump's hair. 

The magic formula is something that I like to call: Just sit the fuck down and do it. 

Let me explain. 

I was never a guy who was in the best of shape. Sure, I appeared "normal", but buried inside my hoodies and baggy jeans, I was always a guy who was just kinda flabby. About 3-4 years ago, I somehow got into crossfit. I suppose it was because it was the thing to do at the time, and if there's one thing I liked more than Reese's Peanut Butter cups, it's things that have hype. So I signed up, and about 2 weeks into what I imagine actual hell would be like, my brain started telling me the same thing it said when I got into season 4 of the Walking Dead: 

This isn't for me. 

But somehow I kept going. After 6 months, people started noticing a difference in my physique. I wish I could say it was my muscles, but it was actually my face. Turns out I had a jawline. Who knew?

And then a year I was in full douchebaggery mode, taking selfies in the mirror and posting them on Instagram. 

And the trick was sticking to it. 

I stuck to it by making a rule for myself. Most days I don't feel like going to the gym. I hate it. I don't feel like laying on the floor feeling like the devil is doing the nae-nae in my lungs. But here's the rule: If I put on my black nike shoes before 6pm, I'm going to the gym. I don't take them off, I don't go to a movie, I don't sit in the parking lot for an hour stuffing my face full of Chicken McNuggets (I use other shoes for that). If I put those shoes on, I'm getting my ass kicked. At the gym. 

And surprisingly, I do that about 3-4 times a week. 

So I apply the same rule to summon my creativity. I can open my laptop, check my email, surf Twitter, watch cat video's, whatever....but if I open Word, Scrivener, or this blog, guess what? I'm sitting my ass down in my chair, and I am writing. I don't care how bad my writing gets, I will sit myself down and do it for the time I allot myself, which for consistencies' sake, is 1 hour. 

I will keep doing that as the day goes on. I treat my creative work like I do going to the gym. Once I slip on those shoes, I'm going to work. No excuses. 

And you know what? Just like the gym, you always feel better after you do it. You feel like crap going in, and feel fresh going out. It's like the antithesis of the digestive system. 

This is just my rule, and your rule might be different. But the point is, and I think most creatives will agree, you do need some sort of rule. Otherwise, on your down days you'll say the same thing to yourself that I say to my mom when she asks if I filed my taxes yet: 

"I'll do it when I feel like it".

Not my shoes. And I appreciate the risk this guy took for this picture. 

Funny Writing-The Art of Not Being a Dick

So everyone always asks me how to be funny. 

And by "everyone", I mean one person. 

And by "one person", I mean my mom. 

Well-here's my thing about being funny: Like the great Yoda says,"You do or do not, there is no try."

Because as soon as you try, you have essentially by default, have ceased to become funny.

Funny isn't something you can just piece together like an Ikea dresser, funny is more of a state of being. The hope is that with time and practice, it just comes spouting out of you like that little monstrosity in Alien (which, ironically, scarred me so deeply watching that scene as a child, it pretty much left me humorless until well into my adult life). 

And that brings me to problem #2 with being funny: It's totally subjective. What's funny to some people isn't funny to others. And that's okay. But I'll get to that in a minute. 

Humor is under-valued and under-appreciated....not only in advertising, but everywhere. Whetehr you are a copywriter, novelist, screenwriter, etc, I don't think there's such a thing as injecting too much humor. People love to smile, and laugh. It's why more people watch the Superbowl for the commercials than the actual game, they want to laugh (I don't know if that's true...just go with it. Don't be an a-hole).

So be funny as much and often as you can, and push your clients to not take themselves too seriously (convince them that no one likes humorless dicks).  

Okay, but how do you inject humor into your copy? 

Here's 4 tips I would start with:

1.  Don't try too hard. This is tough. It's like having to go pee. You're not supposed to think about it, yet the more you don't think about it, the more you do (aaaaand I'll be right back). 

One example is puns. Puns work with your friends, but only because your friends appreciate stupid jokes. But rarely do puns work well with copy. Puns are too witty, and people don't like smart asses. They like average asses who can write funny copy in other ways, and not be the butt of the joke (see what I mean? Pun used=I tried too hard)

Having said that, if its an awesome pun....maybe that's one exception you can make.

2. Find out what's funny to you. I don't mean finding stuff to laugh at, that's easy. Just google cat memes. I'm talking about being specific about what about a joke is funny to you? Is it the situation? Is it the way it was delivered? Does sarcasm work for you, and does it work for your audience? 

For instance, I think the genius of Seinfeld and Curb Your Enthusiasm was not the characters, but the situations that the characters found themselves in. Situational humor. It's pretty, pretty good. 

3. Write to someone who "gets it". As is the case with writing copy in general, don't write for the masses, write to a specific person.That goes double for writing funny copy. Because a joke that EVERYONE gets would probably be close to the lamest joke in the world. And lame jokes are like black licorice and spiders....there's no reason for them to exist. 

4. Study the greats. Like a writer who reads a crap load of books, you can only truly be funny once you learn from the masters. I personally like Larry David, Dave Chapelle, Chris Rock, Louie CK, Demetri Martin, Mindy Kaling, Tina Fey, Seth Rogan, Will Ferrell and that list can go on for a while. So study your favorites....even you like someone like, Dane Cook. Okay, maybe anybody not named Dane Cook. 

5. Be a dick sometimes. I know its counter-intuitive to the article of this title, but sometimes being a dick is sort of funny. Which brings me to the last point. 

6. You don't have to make sense. Logic and order are the arch nemesis's of funny. That's why I always rooted for the Joker, Batman's got a stick up his ass. 

So all that said, hopefully you like this post, and have come away with some ideas of what you think is funny. And maybe you thought this post was funny. And if you didn't? Well, that's just like.....your opinion, man. 

Writing Copy for the Tech Crowd

You’ve just been given a copywriting project. The goal is to write copy that will get people talking about a new technical product or service. In other words, your objective is to build hype. Maybe you know exactly what it does, or what it’s supposed to do. But it’s likely that if you were quizzed about the more technical features of the product, you’d probably fail.

So now you do your research. You look at similar products on the market and it finally starts to click. You’re beginning to understand the product and the people who might buy it, so now all you have to do is make a start on the writing.

You think about your audience. They’re smart, knowledgeable about tech, and well connected – mid-level professionals who are busy and may need this product to improve their productivity and save time. So you start typing, and maybe you’ve got it figured out. But if you find yourself thinking “I’ve got to sound smart, and technical….”, you need to slow down and re-think.

Before you start going down the path of making yourself needlessly erudite and tech-savvy it’s important to remember that good copy isn’t about sounding smart – it’s about selling a product. Here are three rules-of-thumb you need to keep in mind when writing copy for a tech product:

1. Avoid jargon. SEO, ISP, DNS. I know what these mean, and I’m not that technical. You probably know what it means. But that doesn’t mean your customers do. Just spell it out, at least once. There may be a portion of your audience that will thank you for it, and that means more sales.
2. Be clear and sell the benefit. This is the whole “not trying to sound too smart” thing. Stop brainstorming ways to sound smart, focus on the benefits of what you are selling. Streamlined optimization? Try “It’s twice as fast as our previous version.” That, I will buy. And speaking of optimization…
3. Avoid words that aren’t really words. Optimization, actionable, bandwidth. These are fancy words, but do nothing but fill customers heads with complexity and pixie dust. Try: Faster, more efficient, effective, time saving……it won’t make you sound dumb, it will make your audience feel smart.

You might be thinking: this sounds great, but its not realistic. Technical people want to know that you speak their lingo, right? Or what about the clients that like this sort of speak? But wait – technical people still speak plain ol’ English. And so do clients. Avoid big, smart, and technical terms, and instead aim for simple English with a dash of quirkiness. Technology, at its core, should be easy. At the end of the day, isn’t technology about making our lives easier? Why should the content we write about it be any different? So don’t write it as complex as the technology itself. Streamline….errr, I mean make it easy.